Funniest Proverbs And Quotes

Collection Of Funny Quotes/Proverbs
funny quotes
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a one.

- Lana Turner 

2. Friendship is like peeing on yourself ; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
- Robert Bloch

3. Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
- Unknown

4. If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.

5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

6. Whenever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
- Unknown 

7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

8. We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
- Unknown 

9. Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
- Ellen DeGeneres.

10. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
- African Proverb

11. Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.
- Jewish saying

12. If you sleep with dogs, you get up with fleas.

13. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde 

14. If I save time, when do I get it back?

15. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? 


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